a lot of people are going through similar things, and i think we forget sometimes that just because motherfuckers are dressed and at work every morning it doesn’t mean they aren’t living through some sort of catastrophe. bitches gotta eat: this is what’s up with my teeth.
This is a cool attitude.
theclearlydope:

I think this radish is in to me. 
This radish is totally in to me.
[via]

This is a cool attitude.

theclearlydope:

I think this radish is in to me. 

This radish is totally in to me.

[via]

…when assholes trumpet their self-awareness of what assholes they are, they’re looking to gain points when they should actually be getting points deducted. If they’re aware of their asshole-ness, they should be able to stop it. So, assholes: stop saying you’re an asshole and do something about it so you don’t have to say it. Looking Recap: Imitation of Life — Vulture
comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from Paul F. Tompkins. Watch the full clip here. 

comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from Paul F. Tompkins. Watch the full clip here

(via ifc)

"Looking" came on and I thought I should stay up really late to watch Spring Awakening clips, because obviously.

When I was a little kid, I went to some Easter egg hunt. When everyone got there, the organizers explained that there were all kinds of egg with candy in them, but there was one giant egg with a twenty dollar bill in it. I walked around the building, looking for eggs, and looked behind a folding table propped against the wall, and there was the giant egg with the $20. I just left it there, because I didn’t want the attention of being the kid who found the egg. I would rather not have the egg than have everyone looking at me. A lot of people saw me find it and leave it, and hassled me about it, but I just didn’t want the attention.

STUFF I PUT ON MYSELF: a makeup blog: OFF TOPIC

Natalie Dee has closed up shop. This is a really nice goodbye.

The elder Crotch, who was a man with some love of music and mechanical ingenuity, had built himself a small organ, on which he could play a few simple tunes. About Christmas 1776 Crotch began to show some interest when this organ was played, and about the midsummer following he could touch the key note of his favourite tunes.

Crotch, William (DNB00) - Wikisource, the free online library

I am 12 years old. Maybe 13.

tastefullyoffensive:

Uh, thanks, Grandma.

tastefullyoffensive:

Uh, thanks, Grandma.

comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from John Mulaney. Watch the full clip here. 

comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from John Mulaney. Watch the full clip here

(via comedycentral)